Friday, October 14, 2011

At Wits End

I thought that being home would be a great way to get closer to my kids. I'm here for them in the morning. I'm here when they get home from school. When my daughter was younger she used to practically beg me to be home for her. Now I'm here and instead of her appreciating it, she sees it as my being here because of her brothers and not for her.

She thinks I'm doing it for them and doesn't see that I mainly do it for her. She says I do it because they are little and I never did it when she was younger. She actually resents me for it. When she was 4, I divorced her father and had to work if I wanted any sort of a life for her. Her father kept the house we used to live in and I had to rent an apartment for the two of us and work as hard as I could to keep her in the private school she was accustomed to so the change wouldn't be so drastic.

At that point in our lives, it wasn't possible for me to stay home. Now, my husband has a decent job and even though we could use the extra income I have stayed home. The one that benefits the most is her. Now she can be a part of all her after school activities and know that I will pick her up. I can volunteer to help at school and I'm even attending the PTO meetings. At the same time, however, I am also helping out with school things related to my Kindergartner.

Because of this, she says I only do it because he is in school now. I don't believe it would be fair to help out at her school and not help out at his if I am available. She doesn' see it that way and won't agree to disagree. She wants to bring it up all the time. She brings it up when we are discussing something else and always end up swelling a simple disagreement into a giant argument. I'm really tired of arguing with her. She really is a good girl but lately it's like someone is feeding information into her mind and she's trying to make it her reality.

I hope this phase (everyone labels it that) passes soon.

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