Thursday, November 17, 2011

How Different Kids Can Be

Hello everyone! Tonight's post is about how different kids can be. My oldest daughter, who is 12, loves movies and the theater. She is very smart but does not like to challenge herself and just goes with the flow. For this reason her grades fluctuate and she is happy with this.

I used to constantly nag her about doing her homework and bringing up her grades and then I decided to back off. I didn't back off because I don't care or don't want her to try her hardest; I did it because I wanted her to realize she should do these things for herself not to get me to stop nagging. It actually worked. She's working harder and even asking for help when she doesn't understand something.

I know this technique might not work for everyone, and I was very skeptical abut using it, but in this case it worked. I know all kids can't be straight A students, but it is frustrating when you were and your kids don't show that same enthusiasm for school. It has been very hard for me to realize she is her own person and I can't be constantly trying to turn her into someone she isn't. I still monitor her grades and nudge her to do her best, but the fighting regarding grades has stopped.

My middle son, on the other hand, needs no nudging or nagging to get things done. He is in Kindergarten and doesn't get homework too often, but when he does he wants to get it one right away.  He missed school yesterday and when he returned today he got a "We missed you folder" with all the work for the day he missed. He got home and pulled the folder out of his backpack right away and began working on the assignments.

He gets a book from the library and wants to read it right away. He asks when library day is and gets all excited that he will be checking out a book! I don't have to tell him to do his work; he has to remind me he has work to do.

Yes, it's hard to deal with kids when they are so different. I am just learning to stop making comparisons and try to focus on the strengths each one has. It's a constant learning experience for both kids and parents.

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